testing the waters

I've had some interesting feelings lately. Feelings, which, in turn, lead to questions. Questions that I don't really have answers for, but hope to find. And so I feel very much like a broken record. A song stuck on repeat, that I don't fully understand, but really wish I could.A lot of my questions are about myself, God, and what life is. I'm not sure what I believe. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to have what I believe nailed out.I'm not sure what I believe about the "spirit" of man. I believe "spirit" exsists and I'm convinced on this matter due to personal experience. I've traveled a great range of emotions from bouts of sorrow to unexpected bliss, and yet through these "spirit" variations, my physical being (nonspirit) and tangible world surrounding me never exhibit any major change. Of the tangible world, I can not ignore the reality of things I can see, touch, taste, and hear. I believe in a duality of spiritual and physical existance, and that such duality is ever present.I believe that I see things different from everyone else, uniquely Tasha. Not because I'm special and see something someone else can't, but because I believe everyone sees uniquely themselves. In some ways, this does mean that I can see something no one else in the world would have the ability to see, because I believe no one in the world will ever be 100% me, except me. But this implies that I can attempt to see things as others see them, and I may be able to understand via means of empathy, sympathy, or even similar experience, but because I am me, and not you, I can't possibly see it just the way you see it. Even if perception of a subject is the same, reasons to come to the same conclusion may not be. This, more than anything, is why I think people need one another- because we all have a limited view that only others around us can broaden. This is assuming we want to grow. This also assume that no one person has, or possibly will, figure everything out.Existence is something scientists and theologists will go to any measure to understand and "figure out." I don't really understand this. Once something is figured out, you reach its end. It seems an awful lot of people are merely trying to finish or get to the end. Is this something we are taught? Or is this something within our spirit we long for? I'm not sure, but I'd venture to say it's a cultural lesson that even children learn from an early age. Someday it will all make sense, and so we hope away today for someday.I've heard before that what you are is everything you've been taught to be. I like to think of it as a pot of stew. Broth of everything you were taught as a child, a main ingredient tossed in when life experience teaches you something the broth just didn't provide, and a dash or two of seasoning from actually listening and applying wisdom provided from peers and elders. Life sets flame the fire that cooks the stew, and God is to whom the dish is served.All of this, however, is simply my limited view.